Archive for depressing shit

Here Comes the Free Fall

Posted in Literary Masterpieces, Loves, Personal work, Rants with tags , , , , , on December 23, 2011 by ccartlidge

Apparently, I was wrong: I am a force of nature. In all the wrong ways I feel like a tornado whirling through the remnants of a beautifully decrepit midwestern barn, a miserable hailstorm ruining a perfectly good crop or Hurricane Katrina barreling towards an assuredly ill-prepared New Orleans.

I wish I could say I only hurt myself. I can’t though. The barn is a pile of centuries-old wood chips, the crop is toast, and New Orleans is a shell of its former self. It was a soulful place with lots of lovely magnolias and above-ground cemeteries. And now? Cockroaches. Huge fucking cockroaches living among the ruins of the city. They say justice comes swift and I feel it coming for me soon. It’s deserved. I’ll consider myself lucky if it comes quickly, as I would be tortured waiting for the other shoe to drop. In retrospect, it seems quite na├»ve to think about riding that high wave all the way to the shore.

They also say that it’s better to regret something done rather than regret something not done. This seems to imply that learning comes from mistakes made, not from easy living. What have I learned? I’ve learned that stages two through four can sometimes come all at once.

I have a headache and just now started feeling worn out. Happy Holidays.